I'm not going to make this blog about how I should have superpowers or which I desire (though, if there's any barrels of nuclear radiation out there looking to create a technopath, I'm your guy). No, this one is more about me being pedantic.
A lot of superheroes can't physically have only one superpower. They just can't. Look at OnfireMan (it's easier to explain with brand new characters). To be on fire for long amounts of time, he would need to produce a massive amount of energy. Energy production is a second power.
Even further, OnfireMan can manipulate his inferno into a weapon. Flame manipulation is a third. He would require this power to not die from it.
All powers require additional powers in order to co-exist with the owner. Human limitations fall short at most useful abilities, so a super-healing power without a massive pain threshold and a body-shape memory would be pointless in any and all superhero situations.
Some writers do find clever ways of dealing with only one ability. Take Mr. Burly (again, made up on the spot). He only has super-strength, not super-durability or super-centring, so he would be open to being easily wounded and knocked about due to his ow acts. However, with heavy armor to both protect and weigh down, he can take hits without flying off or dying off.
I personally prefer movies with superheroes where they comment on the additional requirements the powers would need or the flaws that need to be avoided. Big bang theory discussed superman's impossibility assuming the concept of superman was possible, focusing on Superman's catching of Lois Lane effectively slicing her to bits.
I also like in one film where the hero malfunctions at high altitudes, so alters the suit accordingly to win against others with a similar issue.
What I like to see, in a thrilling action perspective, is an underpowered superhero with a relatively simple power using it strategically enough to become a worthy opponent. This would be a better thing to watch as he's not so overpowered that it's one sided, but he could still win because he's using his power wiser.
Example: Who would win between Iruleeverythingman and Papercutman? Therefore, it would be a great ride to see papercutman use his power so cleverly that he manages to win, admittedly taking a number of knocks. Also, Iruleeverythingman is a bit of a Marty Stu.
And my final bit of proof that there's nearly always more than one superpower, look up 'Most common superpower' on Tvtropes. Case and point.
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Thursday, 23 June 2011
Insults
I live in England, and therefore am more than accustomed to a few bouts of banter in the form of "your mum" or "you're gay!" As with Nerdfightaria (DFTBA), this annoys me for one reason far superior to being a form of verbal abuse aimed towards myself: they're rubbish.
Seriously, they're terrible insults. These coal-fired nuclear-plants are so narrow minded that homosexuality is the worst thing to be. Shakespeare can one up them. Sorry, did I say one? I meant to say OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAAND up them.
Take this modern insult: Your momma is so fat that she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!
Now compare: No longer hip from hip than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I could find countries on her.
Now: She's so ugly, she looked out a window and got arrested for mooning.
Compare it to: She's the kitchen wench, and all grease; and I do not know what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. ... if she lives 'til doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world.
Finally: Ireland's crap.
And then: (Where on her is Ireland?) In the buttocks: I found it by the bogs.
That's the expertise of Shakespeare's insults. It's far more well spoken and thought through. He only once made a 'yo mama' joke, and it was fairly definitely the original.
I love these masterpieces of wit, and will therefore refrain, as much as possible, from swearing. I say 'eff' more than the word associated with that phrase. I do say bitch, but that doesn't count. It's not that bad. If being called a girl is an insult, as is being called a dog, than a mix of the two is an insult too. It's our fault we consider a standard insult a swear word.
Bastard also fits this, as it means being born out of wedlock. That is a sort of social faux pas, and so wouldn't be a nice thing to be called. Heck, it can't really be an insult if a number of people I know actually are admitted bastards.
Arse is not a swear, as far as I'm concerned. If my kid says 'Arse', I'd be fine with that. If he said 'ass', I'd be annoyed. 'Arse' is British. 'Ass' is American. I must draw the line somewhere.
I also say bollock. Not bollocks. Bollocks refers to a pair of testes. Saying bollock is always going to be bad, as disliking bollocks will be nullified by the presence of one, but enjoyment of either seeing or owning bollocks will be nullified by the absence of the other.
Also, slight multilinguality helps. Swearing in a different language is pretty much a sure fire way to know that nobody will know what you're saying, or showing you're slightly more intelligent if they understand.
If all else fails, be immature. As much as everyone doesn't care to admit it, there's still the leftover programming that finds complete and utter aggravation behind the insult 'poo-head'. And you won't be disliked for it as nobody will seriously have a go at being called a poo-head, lest they reveal themselves as immature for getting angry over it.
Although, a certain webcomic has taught me that spouting nonsense is a good way of getting revenge. Profanity will irritate someone for a little bit, but insanity will confuse them for a while. The more abnormal, the better.
Seriously, they're terrible insults. These coal-fired nuclear-plants are so narrow minded that homosexuality is the worst thing to be. Shakespeare can one up them. Sorry, did I say one? I meant to say OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAAND up them.
Take this modern insult: Your momma is so fat that she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!
Now compare: No longer hip from hip than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I could find countries on her.
Now: She's so ugly, she looked out a window and got arrested for mooning.
Compare it to: She's the kitchen wench, and all grease; and I do not know what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. ... if she lives 'til doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world.
Finally: Ireland's crap.
And then: (Where on her is Ireland?) In the buttocks: I found it by the bogs.
That's the expertise of Shakespeare's insults. It's far more well spoken and thought through. He only once made a 'yo mama' joke, and it was fairly definitely the original.
I love these masterpieces of wit, and will therefore refrain, as much as possible, from swearing. I say 'eff' more than the word associated with that phrase. I do say bitch, but that doesn't count. It's not that bad. If being called a girl is an insult, as is being called a dog, than a mix of the two is an insult too. It's our fault we consider a standard insult a swear word.
Bastard also fits this, as it means being born out of wedlock. That is a sort of social faux pas, and so wouldn't be a nice thing to be called. Heck, it can't really be an insult if a number of people I know actually are admitted bastards.
Arse is not a swear, as far as I'm concerned. If my kid says 'Arse', I'd be fine with that. If he said 'ass', I'd be annoyed. 'Arse' is British. 'Ass' is American. I must draw the line somewhere.
I also say bollock. Not bollocks. Bollocks refers to a pair of testes. Saying bollock is always going to be bad, as disliking bollocks will be nullified by the presence of one, but enjoyment of either seeing or owning bollocks will be nullified by the absence of the other.
Also, slight multilinguality helps. Swearing in a different language is pretty much a sure fire way to know that nobody will know what you're saying, or showing you're slightly more intelligent if they understand.
If all else fails, be immature. As much as everyone doesn't care to admit it, there's still the leftover programming that finds complete and utter aggravation behind the insult 'poo-head'. And you won't be disliked for it as nobody will seriously have a go at being called a poo-head, lest they reveal themselves as immature for getting angry over it.
Although, a certain webcomic has taught me that spouting nonsense is a good way of getting revenge. Profanity will irritate someone for a little bit, but insanity will confuse them for a while. The more abnormal, the better.
Thursday, 9 June 2011
An undeniable thought
Once in a while, something will occur to me. I don't know what sets it off, cause it varies each time. But surely enough, I will eventually return to the thought which I cannot argue with, nor do I want to honestly.
I'd make a damn good Doctor. Not as in actor, but as in a timelord.
Let's look at the requirements for a timelord:
Please note that I may very possibly outshine you in every respect that doesn't show the need of time travel. Though I'm sure one trip would solve that.
I'm not making a convincing job application, am I? Oh well. What's your ideal career?
I'd make a damn good Doctor. Not as in actor, but as in a timelord.
Let's look at the requirements for a timelord:
- Must be intelligent. Well, I can guess the big reveal of a number of doctor who episodes. Not to mention I apparently had the highest score for the logic test in my school years back.
- Must be protective of the timeline. I am definitely that. I understand the 4th dimension pretty well and some of my favourite films are about the time stream continuum being damaged and fixed. Heck, look at my very first blog.
- Must be very resourceful. I'm pretty resourceful, if I do say so myself. I'm currently using a fanny-pack which I must not wear under any circumstances as a penholder.
- Must enjoy technology. This is only half of my feelings for technology: OHMYGODTECHNOLOGYISSOAWESOME!! IWANNABEABLETOMAKEITDOCOOLSTUFFLIKETHAT!! MUSTHAVEITBYANYMEANSNECESSARY!!
- Must be eccentric. *ahem* Would you please glance your eyes upwards?
- Must have weird things in their posession. I have a pair of glasses that show little stars (actually hexagons, grumble grumble) in the light. They work best off of small lights, but it does give everything an awesome glow!
- Must have two hearts. Well, I'm halfway there!
- Must have some very timey-wimey relationships. I could very possibly have a daughter who was born in the future living in the present for some reason.
- Few people on earth must know they exist. Not by my intention at all, but this blog is a very obscure feature of the internet.
Please note that I may very possibly outshine you in every respect that doesn't show the need of time travel. Though I'm sure one trip would solve that.
I'm not making a convincing job application, am I? Oh well. What's your ideal career?
Organizing
What's the betting that Angel's gonna read the title and laugh? Tell ya what, if you laugh, you must greet me next with a glomp. Ok? Ok.
So, organization. My room is, like most teenagers, the lair for the evil kings of mess: clothes that are clean enough, old things that you will get to throwing away later, rubbish that would be gone sooner if you had a bin, weird arrangements, elves who've taken up squatters rights, stuff not put away due to the laws of physics, etc.
Do I like this? Not really. Well, a bit, but not as much as this. I can do with the clothes here, but I'd enjoy removal of the rest.
Overall goal for the week: move up the futon I write this blog from. Sounds easy, but it isn't.
I've cleared a bit of the floor, and sorted out all my schoolbooks (some where on that bit of floor). As a result of my desire to not be wasteful, I currently have a large amount of scrap lined paper in a box I don't know where to put. This is made worse by the fact that... well... If I've written something, expect it to be written in pixels.
I'll find some use for it eventually. Maybe I'll make some of it into a journal? Who knows?
Oh, and i have a new system for ordering my Video Games. Well, the first one is console, obviously. A 3DS game next to big, burly Xbox 360 games would look very wrong. And it would be very spatially inefficient.
From there, each game is put into chronological order. Not in the world of flesh, but in those worlds.
For example: A game is set in the year 5. It's sequel comes after it on the shelf, and it's prequel would go before it. A game set in the year 59788 would come after the sequel, unless the sequel came in the year 59789 for some reason.
Sounds complex? I'm a massive geek, I will think this is set in the future, so I just look over here... If I care about the film/game, I'll know when it was set. I'm just glad I got the Back to the Future DVDs in a box set, cause if I had to place them...
So, organization. My room is, like most teenagers, the lair for the evil kings of mess: clothes that are clean enough, old things that you will get to throwing away later, rubbish that would be gone sooner if you had a bin, weird arrangements, elves who've taken up squatters rights, stuff not put away due to the laws of physics, etc.
Do I like this? Not really. Well, a bit, but not as much as this. I can do with the clothes here, but I'd enjoy removal of the rest.
Overall goal for the week: move up the futon I write this blog from. Sounds easy, but it isn't.
I've cleared a bit of the floor, and sorted out all my schoolbooks (some where on that bit of floor). As a result of my desire to not be wasteful, I currently have a large amount of scrap lined paper in a box I don't know where to put. This is made worse by the fact that... well... If I've written something, expect it to be written in pixels.
I'll find some use for it eventually. Maybe I'll make some of it into a journal? Who knows?
Oh, and i have a new system for ordering my Video Games. Well, the first one is console, obviously. A 3DS game next to big, burly Xbox 360 games would look very wrong. And it would be very spatially inefficient.
From there, each game is put into chronological order. Not in the world of flesh, but in those worlds.
For example: A game is set in the year 5. It's sequel comes after it on the shelf, and it's prequel would go before it. A game set in the year 59788 would come after the sequel, unless the sequel came in the year 59789 for some reason.
Sounds complex? I'm a massive geek, I will think this is set in the future, so I just look over here... If I care about the film/game, I'll know when it was set. I'm just glad I got the Back to the Future DVDs in a box set, cause if I had to place them...
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
Annual
Well, something has forced itself into my eyesight: birthdays. Due to the complete lack of content I've had recently, I've decided to just talk incessently about this. Also, have you noticed that talking like Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw from Zero Punctuation makes you far more judgmental?
So, the concept of a birthday is that after a circle around the sun since the day you came out of another creature and were considered 'born', you deserve a whole day. How many of these days you have determines your age, and you will be categorized ruthlessly depending on this.
This does, at time, feel fairly redundant. You get just as much special treatment for being born a near exact amount of 365 days as anyone else. Frankly, if chavs get a day of celebration, then I, on account of not being a chav, should be able to walk into the local chip shop every Friday and declare myself king.
Also, there's gifts. Nobody complains to getting gifts but why would they? They're getting free stuff for being alive. Having to purchase gifts for others can get tedious and confusing. "I know he wants this MacGuffin, but what if someone else gets him one? He wouldn't want two! I'll just get him a Herpyderp." Then, someone ends up getting twenty Herpyderps and no MacGuffin!
Bonus points go to whoever can work out where I got those references.
I actually have a friend who- I apparently have named on here but hell if i can be bothered to go through my archive, so I'll reuse the Nameless title.
My friend Nameless actually hates the process so much that he prefers his mates to not get him stuff so he doesn't have the obligation to go through it either. While his facebook comments are easily refutable, and my third blog was based off his comment, I do like the logic to his strategy.
Also, people feel that it's good do feel older, which sounds ridiculous to me. I'm not going to feel any older the second between the dates then I will in the second before the transition. The second I age, I will be a second older. I will be a year older than I was a year ago, but enough time has passed that it's not a big deal to me.
So many people could state the 'there's no real age you become mature' argument, but refusing content due to unoriginality hasn't worked out fantastically. My family really represents this. My dad plays Cityville, my Mum is so geeky it's genetic, my sister considers 10 years older than her to be old, my brother is less mature then me, and I'm the youngest by far!
I do like the simple method to categorize people. You can act mature in some methods and not others, so using tea and scone etiquette to verify age for a movie wouldn't be a good form of category. With age ratings, you can at least use probability to see how mature they could turn out.
The third point that it should feel good is that you're older. Older. Closer to death. Now, I may be an optimist to the extent that I could write a story about a man with 6 months to live and give it a happy ending, but there's little I can to with 'closer to death'.
Then there's the festivity you must throw yearly to celebrate the flimsy reasons for joy. I really don't like planning. So why on earth, in a day dedicated to me, do I have to entertain people? I like the idea of surprise parties, cause a nice, fun celebration that I don't have to go through paperwork for sounds absolutely glee-worthy.
Facebook doesn't make me feel better about this unnamed day, as it simply tells people that there's a day celebrating me going on, and everyone who's shaken my hand has to put a bland comment stating they wish my day is a joyous one. No variation in size, shape or colour. It really irritates me.
Every time it reminds me, I either ignore it or post something completely different, like 'Happy slow decaying!' or 'Don't you owe me that dvd?' Call me hipster if you want, at least I have the intelligence to say something more substantial and personal than two words.
Notice I haven't commented on the cake? I don't really have a bad thing to say about it, as long as it's a good mix of tasty, geeky and a monument to me.
On an unrelated note, it's my birthday tomorrow. Still no idea why this blog seemed relevant.
So, the concept of a birthday is that after a circle around the sun since the day you came out of another creature and were considered 'born', you deserve a whole day. How many of these days you have determines your age, and you will be categorized ruthlessly depending on this.
This does, at time, feel fairly redundant. You get just as much special treatment for being born a near exact amount of 365 days as anyone else. Frankly, if chavs get a day of celebration, then I, on account of not being a chav, should be able to walk into the local chip shop every Friday and declare myself king.
Also, there's gifts. Nobody complains to getting gifts but why would they? They're getting free stuff for being alive. Having to purchase gifts for others can get tedious and confusing. "I know he wants this MacGuffin, but what if someone else gets him one? He wouldn't want two! I'll just get him a Herpyderp." Then, someone ends up getting twenty Herpyderps and no MacGuffin!
Bonus points go to whoever can work out where I got those references.
I actually have a friend who- I apparently have named on here but hell if i can be bothered to go through my archive, so I'll reuse the Nameless title.
My friend Nameless actually hates the process so much that he prefers his mates to not get him stuff so he doesn't have the obligation to go through it either. While his facebook comments are easily refutable, and my third blog was based off his comment, I do like the logic to his strategy.
Also, people feel that it's good do feel older, which sounds ridiculous to me. I'm not going to feel any older the second between the dates then I will in the second before the transition. The second I age, I will be a second older. I will be a year older than I was a year ago, but enough time has passed that it's not a big deal to me.
So many people could state the 'there's no real age you become mature' argument, but refusing content due to unoriginality hasn't worked out fantastically. My family really represents this. My dad plays Cityville, my Mum is so geeky it's genetic, my sister considers 10 years older than her to be old, my brother is less mature then me, and I'm the youngest by far!
I do like the simple method to categorize people. You can act mature in some methods and not others, so using tea and scone etiquette to verify age for a movie wouldn't be a good form of category. With age ratings, you can at least use probability to see how mature they could turn out.
The third point that it should feel good is that you're older. Older. Closer to death. Now, I may be an optimist to the extent that I could write a story about a man with 6 months to live and give it a happy ending, but there's little I can to with 'closer to death'.
Then there's the festivity you must throw yearly to celebrate the flimsy reasons for joy. I really don't like planning. So why on earth, in a day dedicated to me, do I have to entertain people? I like the idea of surprise parties, cause a nice, fun celebration that I don't have to go through paperwork for sounds absolutely glee-worthy.
Facebook doesn't make me feel better about this unnamed day, as it simply tells people that there's a day celebrating me going on, and everyone who's shaken my hand has to put a bland comment stating they wish my day is a joyous one. No variation in size, shape or colour. It really irritates me.
Every time it reminds me, I either ignore it or post something completely different, like 'Happy slow decaying!' or 'Don't you owe me that dvd?' Call me hipster if you want, at least I have the intelligence to say something more substantial and personal than two words.
Notice I haven't commented on the cake? I don't really have a bad thing to say about it, as long as it's a good mix of tasty, geeky and a monument to me.
On an unrelated note, it's my birthday tomorrow. Still no idea why this blog seemed relevant.
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