Hey. I decided to basically sum myself up for the 3 people who read by blog but don't know me. I'm probably exaggerating: The 2 people who don't know me.
I'll start with the physical aspects. My eyes? Brown/hazel. My skin? Mild tan. My hair? Brown, but very dark. Regardless of what Angel says, and I know she's arguing with me already, it's not black. Also, my smile's not that good: If I bear teeth, it looks cheesy, but otherwise I don't look happy.
Often I wear a t-shirt and jeans. I also always wear boxers, lest I be nude. My t-shirts vary in colour, but frequently have a witty caption or something. I also have many a hoodie, and wear them when I can. They vary from a plain brown one to a light blue one with Yoda on it to a purple zip-up one with a green circle in the middle.
In terms of personality, I'm rather cheery and idiotic. Seriously, I think my entire personality can be attributed to trying to make people happy. I make a lot of bad jokes, and open myself up for a lot of slapstick. Totally not a masochist, though.
Despite the blog, I don't talk very long-winded. Admittedly, when I start talking adamantly about something, I can go on and on, but the occasion is more often reduced now to "I wrote a blog about this". Also, people interrupt.
I am very lame. Not just self-deprecating, I am actually deluding myself if I don't call myself that. I tell many a bad joke, I'm into some very geeky stuff (Doctor Who, Firefly, Zelda, etc.), I suck at sport, I'm melodramatic...
Oh, and I'm a rather nice guy. Kind of goes into the above statement that I base my personality on other people's happiness, but it's to the point where my smile increases with other people's and I always try to console any of my friends when they're sad.
If I were to summarise, I would say I'm moderate. I'm not that attractive (cue disagreement...), but I do have a good sense of humour, and many a folk enjoy my company. I'm that level of good you find on dating sites where they don't want to oversell themselves but want to make themselves as appealing as possible. But I disagree with having a bubbly personality. I am not bad for teeth.
Wednesday 31 August 2011
Monday 29 August 2011
Speculative fiction
Love sure is complex, isn't it? I could just fill the whole blog with my thoughts on the matter. However, I've made two blog posts about romance this month, and a whole month of romance blogs isn't good for my idea of this blog being diverse, so I'll talk about Sci-Fi.
Sci-fi: The genre that encapsulates other worlds with robots and the future. You often find some lackey at a big corporation discovering a dark secret about the big boss guy, and gathers a small rag tag team to go on big- wait. Sci-fi's more of a setting than a genre. Just allows you to explain some of the plot-points using superior technology.
Well... That went silly. Might as well discuss fantasy.
Fantasy, a frequent quasi-medieval genre that brings powerful wizards and swords and elves and the like. You've often got a peasant discovering a king is using dark magics, and so he gathers a small and plucky ragtag team to go on a big... Huh... So, replace the technology with magic and nothing's different...
Well, I didn't call it Sci-fi or fantasy, did I? It's all speculative fiction. I got the term from tvtropes, and like it. The only difference is that one explains all the important stuff with future technology or other worlds, while the other explains things with magic or... other worlds...
Ok... This is a complex posting. Basically, the setting often has technology/magic created by a scientist/sorcerer, with the situation being watched on a monitor/in a pensive by a corrupt bureaucrat/off-worlder/king/dark lord from a spacecraft/office/castle. If it's a war based film, expect a super soldier/warrior. If it's a noble quest, expect a lowly worker/peasant.
It doesn't matter what the plot is, cause one is interchangeable for the other. All that changes is how you explain things. You just have one army of orcs and one army of very possibly identical aliens with an identical way of thinking. You have one teleport spell and one teleporter. You've got one archer and one sniper. Not much else changes, really.
I thought this would be longer. Well, shows what I get for thinking, I guess.
Sci-fi: The genre that encapsulates other worlds with robots and the future. You often find some lackey at a big corporation discovering a dark secret about the big boss guy, and gathers a small rag tag team to go on big- wait. Sci-fi's more of a setting than a genre. Just allows you to explain some of the plot-points using superior technology.
Well... That went silly. Might as well discuss fantasy.
Fantasy, a frequent quasi-medieval genre that brings powerful wizards and swords and elves and the like. You've often got a peasant discovering a king is using dark magics, and so he gathers a small and plucky ragtag team to go on a big... Huh... So, replace the technology with magic and nothing's different...
Well, I didn't call it Sci-fi or fantasy, did I? It's all speculative fiction. I got the term from tvtropes, and like it. The only difference is that one explains all the important stuff with future technology or other worlds, while the other explains things with magic or... other worlds...
Ok... This is a complex posting. Basically, the setting often has technology/magic created by a scientist/sorcerer, with the situation being watched on a monitor/in a pensive by a corrupt bureaucrat/off-worlder/king/dark lord from a spacecraft/office/castle. If it's a war based film, expect a super soldier/warrior. If it's a noble quest, expect a lowly worker/peasant.
It doesn't matter what the plot is, cause one is interchangeable for the other. All that changes is how you explain things. You just have one army of orcs and one army of very possibly identical aliens with an identical way of thinking. You have one teleport spell and one teleporter. You've got one archer and one sniper. Not much else changes, really.
I thought this would be longer. Well, shows what I get for thinking, I guess.
Wednesday 10 August 2011
Attraction
I've decided to make a comment on what I find attractive, as I have no life. Seriously, it's this or Pilotwings. And in case any of my readers didn't know (which you probably do, since you are my very close friends and my sister), me and Angel are single.
...Ladies?
So, a lot of girls are often bulimic or anorexic because they find themselves too obese. You are not obese. You are very skinny. Very skinny. While many girls aim for a flat stomach, a concave stomach is just weird. Nobody wants that. Eat something, will ya? Deity...
Oh, and let me sort out your wardrobe indecision: it doesn't matter what clothes you wear, as a great amount of guys will imagine you without them. Something casual, but not a jogging suit. On that note, if you own a jogging suit,sell burn it.
While many girls will try to add a little bit of glamour to their skin, you shouldn't rely on it. Easy on with the make-up. People aim for sun-kissed, not sun-frenched. I know we say we love your lips, eyes, and cheeks, and that we wish we could take them wherever we go, but if we succeed due to an accidental smudging during a sweet moment, then a lot of the romance will disapperate.
Your hair? There have been many a day where I do not notice that the entire mass has changed from medium brunette to incredibly rainbow, and I'm just wondering why you remind me of Rainbow Dash. It can be assumed it's little skin off my back that you're trying out a straightened look.
Then there's your nails. I've never understood the appeal of having them long. I like hugs. I like my kidneys. Don't make me choose between having one or the other.
Men don't like Bieber, so don't confess your undying love for him. In fact, try to restrict who you say you're head over heels for to the person who you are actually trying to court. If you say you love ice cream to your boyfriend, then consider yourself lucky that Ben and Jerry aren't being violently attacked moments after.
Also, the saying you can't have your cake and eat it too is a load of crock. Having cake but the inability to eat it is a cruel and unusual punishment which Chell was never granted. Do not try to make him choose between his enjoyments and you, because that doesn't make you seem very appealing. Join in, or go away.
Also, if you got the Chell joke: Hi. How you doin'?
Yep. Big one. Personality. Having a nice body can make many a man turn their head with interest. A sly reference t the Hyrulean royal family can make me do somersaults and slay Hungarian Horntails for a glomp. True story.
Please remember, everyone has different interests. Some people find girls more attractive for staring in low budget films. I know that me and Sir Mixalot have a very different opinion on a female rump. So this is not a universal guide, just a slightly relevant guide to me.
...Ladies?
So, a lot of girls are often bulimic or anorexic because they find themselves too obese. You are not obese. You are very skinny. Very skinny. While many girls aim for a flat stomach, a concave stomach is just weird. Nobody wants that. Eat something, will ya? Deity...
Oh, and let me sort out your wardrobe indecision: it doesn't matter what clothes you wear, as a great amount of guys will imagine you without them. Something casual, but not a jogging suit. On that note, if you own a jogging suit,
While many girls will try to add a little bit of glamour to their skin, you shouldn't rely on it. Easy on with the make-up. People aim for sun-kissed, not sun-frenched. I know we say we love your lips, eyes, and cheeks, and that we wish we could take them wherever we go, but if we succeed due to an accidental smudging during a sweet moment, then a lot of the romance will disapperate.
Your hair? There have been many a day where I do not notice that the entire mass has changed from medium brunette to incredibly rainbow, and I'm just wondering why you remind me of Rainbow Dash. It can be assumed it's little skin off my back that you're trying out a straightened look.
Then there's your nails. I've never understood the appeal of having them long. I like hugs. I like my kidneys. Don't make me choose between having one or the other.
Men don't like Bieber, so don't confess your undying love for him. In fact, try to restrict who you say you're head over heels for to the person who you are actually trying to court. If you say you love ice cream to your boyfriend, then consider yourself lucky that Ben and Jerry aren't being violently attacked moments after.
Also, the saying you can't have your cake and eat it too is a load of crock. Having cake but the inability to eat it is a cruel and unusual punishment which Chell was never granted. Do not try to make him choose between his enjoyments and you, because that doesn't make you seem very appealing. Join in, or go away.
Also, if you got the Chell joke: Hi. How you doin'?
Yep. Big one. Personality. Having a nice body can make many a man turn their head with interest. A sly reference t the Hyrulean royal family can make me do somersaults and slay Hungarian Horntails for a glomp. True story.
Please remember, everyone has different interests. Some people find girls more attractive for staring in low budget films. I know that me and Sir Mixalot have a very different opinion on a female rump. So this is not a universal guide, just a slightly relevant guide to me.
RomComs
Ah... The romantic comedy... It's like a romantic tragedy, except things end well and nobody dies.
Now, don't let the name fool you: this is incredibly rarely funny, and it will not be original. I have found a pattern, as most of you have too. So sit back and prepare to nod in agreement, feeling validated that someone else thinks the same as you.
The setting
This is the main thing that varies, but not by much. They are almost always in a city or urban area of some sort. They are almost always set at the exact date the film is being shot. They are almost always real places. Otherwise, they'd have to spend some money on locations.
The hero
This is the generic person who is meant to be the way in for the viewer, so they can pretend that they're the one who... let's say Mila Kunis is infatuated with, but you're not really Jason Segal. Unless you are, in which case, this is totally frekking awesome!
They're either a nice guy who remains unlucky in love or a total jerk who becomes nice over the course of the film, depending on what basic story is being used. There's probably one thing about them that is mildly humorous in concept, which will shape the entire film, unless he's a jerk, in which case his thing is being a jerk. Let me tell you, a funny concept does not provide a mountain of hilarity.
The girl
This can vary in gender, depending on the gender of the hero. They will always be described as something along the lines of "the hottest thing ever" which everyone must insta-swoon over. You know, people really hype up celebrity attractiveness too much. Angelina Jolie? Eh. Doesn't do it for me. I digress.
So, this girl will find the nice guy, on account of every other guy in the cast either being a total must not swear, must not swear... or a member of a beta couple, absolutely amazing. If the guy is a jerk, she will hate him aloud, but for some reason find his being within several people most of the time charming.
The friends
They're the most humorous thing here, but remain on the "slight titter" end of the scale. They will commonly comment on the primary relationship, even giving the small speech at the end about why they should be a couple. The main friend will be in a beta couple, without doubt.
The argument
"You slept with my sister while stabbing my mother? We're through!!!" "You and I clearly have nothing in common, which I should have noticed earlier! I'm leaving!" "We haven't had a fight, nor have we had any reason to fight, due to the fact that neither one of us is creating any problems for the other through personality or circumstance. Clearly it wasn't meant to work out!"
No matter the relationship, there will be a tiny feud which ends everything immediately. Every. Time. Without. Fail. Pistachio.
The epiphany
"You were meant to be together!" "You're right! I don't know why I let her leave!"
"Yeah, she was always correcting me about stuff." "She made you feel dumb? We do have things in common!"
"What'cha thinking about?" "I just realised. I always hated my mother!"
Suddenly, they realise they shouldn't have broken up, or forgotten that they really should have. I forget which, but they run up to each other, and take each other back instantly, without considering how bad they were together and that since they broke up there's an issue with the couple. Then they make kissy faces, and the camera pans away.
Basically, the only reason the genre is so populated is because regular romances aren't as popular and people don't like sad endings. If you want to write a RomCom, then just take the script of one existing rom com, alter the characters and settings so they fit your mad libs, refilm it and hey presto.
I'm looking forward to the RomCom where they don't get back together because they realised that they weren't supposed to be a couple, or they just move the frig on.
Now, don't let the name fool you: this is incredibly rarely funny, and it will not be original. I have found a pattern, as most of you have too. So sit back and prepare to nod in agreement, feeling validated that someone else thinks the same as you.
The setting
This is the main thing that varies, but not by much. They are almost always in a city or urban area of some sort. They are almost always set at the exact date the film is being shot. They are almost always real places. Otherwise, they'd have to spend some money on locations.
The hero
This is the generic person who is meant to be the way in for the viewer, so they can pretend that they're the one who... let's say Mila Kunis is infatuated with, but you're not really Jason Segal. Unless you are, in which case, this is totally frekking awesome!
They're either a nice guy who remains unlucky in love or a total jerk who becomes nice over the course of the film, depending on what basic story is being used. There's probably one thing about them that is mildly humorous in concept, which will shape the entire film, unless he's a jerk, in which case his thing is being a jerk. Let me tell you, a funny concept does not provide a mountain of hilarity.
The girl
This can vary in gender, depending on the gender of the hero. They will always be described as something along the lines of "the hottest thing ever" which everyone must insta-swoon over. You know, people really hype up celebrity attractiveness too much. Angelina Jolie? Eh. Doesn't do it for me. I digress.
So, this girl will find the nice guy, on account of every other guy in the cast either being a total must not swear, must not swear... or a member of a beta couple, absolutely amazing. If the guy is a jerk, she will hate him aloud, but for some reason find his being within several people most of the time charming.
The friends
They're the most humorous thing here, but remain on the "slight titter" end of the scale. They will commonly comment on the primary relationship, even giving the small speech at the end about why they should be a couple. The main friend will be in a beta couple, without doubt.
The argument
"You slept with my sister while stabbing my mother? We're through!!!" "You and I clearly have nothing in common, which I should have noticed earlier! I'm leaving!" "We haven't had a fight, nor have we had any reason to fight, due to the fact that neither one of us is creating any problems for the other through personality or circumstance. Clearly it wasn't meant to work out!"
No matter the relationship, there will be a tiny feud which ends everything immediately. Every. Time. Without. Fail. Pistachio.
The epiphany
"You were meant to be together!" "You're right! I don't know why I let her leave!"
"Yeah, she was always correcting me about stuff." "She made you feel dumb? We do have things in common!"
"What'cha thinking about?" "I just realised. I always hated my mother!"
Suddenly, they realise they shouldn't have broken up, or forgotten that they really should have. I forget which, but they run up to each other, and take each other back instantly, without considering how bad they were together and that since they broke up there's an issue with the couple. Then they make kissy faces, and the camera pans away.
Basically, the only reason the genre is so populated is because regular romances aren't as popular and people don't like sad endings. If you want to write a RomCom, then just take the script of one existing rom com, alter the characters and settings so they fit your mad libs, refilm it and hey presto.
I'm looking forward to the RomCom where they don't get back together because they realised that they weren't supposed to be a couple, or they just move the frig on.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)