RomComs

Ah... The romantic comedy... It's like a romantic tragedy, except things end well and nobody dies.

Now, don't let the name fool you: this is incredibly rarely funny, and it will not be original. I have found a pattern, as most of you have too. So sit back and prepare to nod in agreement, feeling validated that someone else thinks the same as you.

The setting
This is the main thing that varies, but not by much. They are almost always in a city or urban area of some sort. They are almost always set at the exact date the film is being shot. They are almost always real places. Otherwise, they'd have to spend some money on locations.

The hero
This is the generic person who is meant to be the way in for the viewer, so they can pretend that they're the one who... let's say Mila Kunis is infatuated with, but you're not really Jason Segal. Unless you are, in which case, this is totally frekking awesome!

They're either a nice guy who remains unlucky in love or a total jerk who becomes nice over the course of the film, depending on what basic story is being used. There's probably one thing about them that is mildly humorous in concept, which will shape the entire film, unless he's a jerk, in which case his thing is being a jerk. Let me tell you, a funny concept does not provide a mountain of hilarity.

The girl
This can vary in gender, depending on  the gender of the hero. They will always be described as something along the lines of "the hottest thing ever" which everyone must insta-swoon over. You know, people really hype up celebrity attractiveness too much. Angelina Jolie? Eh. Doesn't do it for me. I digress.

So, this girl will find the nice guy, on account of every other guy in the cast either being a total must not swear, must not swear... or a member of a beta couple, absolutely amazing. If the guy is a jerk, she will hate him aloud, but for some reason find his being within several people most of the time charming.

The friends
They're the most humorous thing here, but remain on the "slight titter" end of the scale. They will commonly comment on the primary relationship, even giving the small speech at the end about why they should be a couple. The main friend will be in a beta couple, without doubt.


The argument
"You slept with my sister while stabbing my mother? We're through!!!" "You and I clearly have nothing in common, which I should have noticed earlier! I'm leaving!" "We haven't had a fight, nor have we had any reason to fight, due to the fact that neither one of us is creating any problems for the other through personality or circumstance. Clearly it wasn't meant to work out!"

No matter the relationship, there will be a tiny feud which ends everything immediately. Every. Time. Without. Fail. Pistachio.

The epiphany
"You were meant to be together!" "You're right! I don't know why I let her leave!"

"Yeah, she was always correcting me about stuff." "She made you feel dumb? We do have things in common!"

"What'cha thinking about?" "I just realised. I always hated my mother!"

Suddenly, they realise they shouldn't have broken up, or forgotten that they really should have. I forget which, but they run up to each other, and take each other back instantly, without considering how bad they were together and that since they broke up there's an issue with the couple. Then they make kissy faces, and the camera pans away.

Basically, the only reason the genre is so populated is because regular romances aren't as popular and people don't like sad endings. If you want to write a RomCom, then just take the script of one existing rom com, alter the characters and settings so they fit your mad libs, refilm it and hey presto.

I'm looking forward to the RomCom where they don't get back together because they realised that they weren't supposed to be a couple, or they just move the frig on.